Como os americanos explicam sua Política Externa aos seus filhos..

  1. #1

    Talking Como os americanos explicam sua Política Externa aos seus filhos..

    Tava no fórum do P.O.D e encontrei esse texto muito rlz (tenham pacienca pra ler pq eh maneiro)

    ================================================== =
    Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?
    A. Because they had weapons of mass destruction, honey.

    Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.
    A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.

    Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?
    A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

    Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?
    A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll Find something, probably right before the 2004 election.

    Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
    A: To use them in a war, silly.

    Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use In a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to War with them?
    A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.

    Q: That doesn't make sense Daddy. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons to fight us back with?
    A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.

    Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those Weapons our government said they did.
    A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

    Q: And what was that?
    A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein Was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.

    Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?
    A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

    Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
    A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.

    Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
    A: Right.

    Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?
    A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

    Q: Isn't that exactly what happens in China?
    A: I told you, China is different.

    Q: What's the difference between China and Iraq?
    A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba'ath party, while China is Communist.

    Q: Didn't you once tell me Communists were bad?
    A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

    Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?
    A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.

    Q: Like in Iraq?
    A: Exactly.

    Q: And like in China, too?
    A: I told you, China's a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.

    Q: How come Cuba isn't a good economic competitor?
    A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some Laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.

    Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and Started doing business with them, wouldn't that help the Cubans become capitalists?
    A: Don't be a smart-ass.

    Q: I didn't think I was being one.
    A: Well, anyway, they also don't have freedom of religion in Cuba.

    Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?
    A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he's not really a Legitimate leader anyway.

    Q: What's a military coup?
    A: That's when a military general takes over the government of a country By force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.

    Q: Didn't the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?
    A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is Our friend.

    Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?
    A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

    Q: Didn't you just say a military general who comes to power by Forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an Illegitimate leader?
    A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he Helped us invade Afghanistan.

    Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?
    A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

    Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?
    A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men, Fifteen of them Saudi Arabians, hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings, killing over 3,000 Americans.

    Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?
    A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.

    Q: Aren't the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people's heads and hands?
    A: Yes, that's exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people's heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

    Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars Back in May of 2001?
    A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.

    Q: Fighting drugs?
    A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing Opium poppies.

    Q: How did they do such a good job?
    A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban Would have their hands and heads cut off.

    Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people's heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people's heads and hands off for other reasons?
    A: Yes. It's OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people's hands for growing flowers, but it's cruel if they cut off people's hands for stealing bread.

    Q: Don't they also cut off people's hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?
    A: That's different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy That oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.

    Q: Don't Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?
    A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

    Q: What's the difference?
    A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman's body except for her eyes and fingers.

    Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.
    A: Now, don't go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are Our friends.

    Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.
    A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

    Q: Who trained them?
    A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

    Q: Was he from Afghanistan?
    A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very Bad man.

    Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.
    A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion Of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

    Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?
    A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.

    Q: So the Soviets ? I mean, the Russians ? are now our friends?
    A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years After they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we're mad at them now. We're also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn't help us invade Iraq either.

    Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?
    A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French Fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

    Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn't do what We want them to do?
    A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

    Q: But wasn't Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?
    A: Well, yeah. For a while.

    Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?
    A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him Our friend, temporarily.

    Q: Why did that make him our friend?
    A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

    Q: Isn't that when he gassed the Kurds?
    A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked The other way, to show him we were his friend.

    Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically Becomes our friend?
    A: Most of the time, yes.

    Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?
    A: Sometimes that's true, too. However, if American corporations can Profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.

    Q: Why?
    A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America's side, anyone who opposes war is a Godless un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

    Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?
    A: Yes.

    Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?
    A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.

    Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
    A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

    Good night, Daddy.

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  3. #2

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    HAUhauHAhauHAU legalzinha até...
    Citação Citando redhat Ver mensagem
    Vamos trocar chocolates ? eu te dou um talento e vc me da sem parar.

  4. #3
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    Nossa, fiquei triste agora. Como os americanos conseguiram eleger um cara tão imbecil ?

    []'z

  5. #4

    Padrão

    Originalmente enviada por The Knight
    Q: Kind of like what they do in China?
    A: Don't go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.

    Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it's a good country, even if that country tortures people?
    A: Right.

    a mais pura verdade

  6. #5

    Padrão

    Originalmente enviada por Alucinator'z
    a mais pura verdade
    infelizmente...

  7. #6
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    AOIUhaOIUhaoIU pior q eh bem isso mesmo q o tipico (maioria) americano pensa
    Estados Unidos tem furacão...
    Japão tem Terremoto...
    Indonésia tem Tsunami...
    Brasil tem Rio de Janeiro...

  8. #7

    Padrão

    Mto boa


    ps: quem vai ser o primeiro a dizer que é velha?
    6!

  9. #8
    Suspenso
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    Padrão

    Originalmente enviada por «¤¢øñÐø®¤»
    HAUhauHAhauHAU legalzinha até...

    milagre, entendeu ingles eh??

  10. #9

    Padrão

    Originalmente enviada por Joga
    Mto boa


    ps: quem vai ser o primeiro a dizer que é velha?
    pesquizei rapidim tiu, mas acho q ainda naum foi postado esse texto naum viu

    PS: tah aqui o link de onde o achei:

    http://bbs.payableondeath.com/ubbthr...lapsed&sb=5&o=

  11. #10

    Padrão

    muito bom
    ahahuahua

  12. #11

    Padrão

    legalzinhu o texto, bem culto
    mas....



    Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars Back in May of 2001?
    A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.

    Q: Fighting drugs?
    A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing Opium poppies.



    o Bush deu 43 millões pro Taliban em 2001??
    ñ sabia disso....
    (Hi! I'm a signature virus. Copy me into your signature to help me spread.)

  13. #12

    Padrão

    Não falem mau de Tio Sam. Ele é bom. Ele nos explora para o nosso próprio bem.
    O Moderno Príncipe, desenvolvendo-se, subverte todo o sistema de relações intelectuais e morais, uma vez que seu desenvolvimento significa, de fato, que todo ato é concebido como útil ou prejudicial, como virtuoso ou criminoso, somente na medida em que tem como ponto de referência o próprio Moderno Príncipe.

  14. #13
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    é uma palhaçada só...
    eua fede
    \"I\'m not crazy
    I\'m just a little impaired
    I know, right now you don\'t care
    But soon enough you\'re gonna think of me
    And how I used to be\"

  15. #14

    Padrão

    Originalmente enviada por I c E TeA_LiMãO
    legalzinhu o texto, bem culto
    mas....



    Q: Didn't the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars Back in May of 2001?
    A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.

    Q: Fighting drugs?
    A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing Opium poppies.



    o Bush deu 43 millões pro Taliban em 2001??
    ñ sabia disso....
    eu tb naum sabia disso naum.... ou foi pouco divulgado pra k, ou naum foi divulgado ou nóis passamos batido na news

  16. #15

    Padrão

    Originalmente enviada por Lusty
    Nossa, fiquei triste agora. Como os americanos conseguiram eleger um cara tão imbecil ?

    []'z
    Pq pelas noticias, foi uma fraude. Lembra do rolo das eleicoes la?
    \"It\'s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid, than to open it and remove all doubt.\"
    Mark Twain

  17. #16

    Padrão

    Originalmente enviada por ]PF[.Baskiat
    Pq pelas noticias, foi uma fraude. Lembra do rolo das eleicoes la?
    anrram, o povo elegeu o AlGore (eh assim q iscrivinha?), mas a eleição de lah eh diferente, acho q os parlamentares votam tb no presidente individualmente em cada estado. Daew o q os parlamentares escolherem, os votos das pessoas dakele estado saum contados pro candidato escolhido pelos parlamentares... Fora q muita gente naum vota lah pq na eleição vota quem quer... eh bastante zoneada a eleição e o resultado nóis tamos sentindo na pele...

  18. #17
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    Originalmente enviada por ]PF[.Baskiat
    Pq pelas noticias, foi uma fraude. Lembra do rolo das eleicoes la?
    Bem, a indignação continua a mesma, só que com outra pergunta : como esse imbecil conseguiu tanto voto ? Não é possível que o nível de aprovação do governo desse infeliz seja grande até agora.

    Uma coisa é ser conservador. Outra coisa é votar no Bush.

    []'z

    OBS: Baskiat é admin do servidor de DoD do Terra ?

  19. #18

    Padrão

    li até a metade .... to com preguiça de ler em ingles ahuyuhauha traduz ae alguem !!!

    a parte mais rox :
    Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?
    A: To use them in a war, silly.

    Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use In a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to War with them?
    A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.

    Q: That doesn't make sense Daddy. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons to fight us back with?
    A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.
    Me faz lembrar dakela piada que o bush vai visitar uma escola dae o muleke faz umas perguntas pra ele ae o sinal do recreio toca.. ae qd volta do recreio o menino sumiu!! uHAUHAuhA
    "As pessoas inventam estatísticas para provar qualquer coisa. 40% das pessoas sabem disso!"
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  20. #19

    Padrão

    Originalmente enviada por Lusty
    Bem, a indignação continua a mesma, só que com outra pergunta : como esse imbecil conseguiu tanto voto ? Não é possível que o nível de aprovação do governo desse infeliz seja grande até agora.

    Uma coisa é ser conservador. Outra coisa é votar no Bush.

    []'z

    OBS: Baskiat é admin do servidor de DoD do Terra ?
    mas o povo votou no AlGore mano!

    dizem as mas linguas q as grandes corporações de armas e petroleo q compraram os parlamentares para elejer o Bush...

  21. #20

    Padrão Re: Como os americanos explicam sua Política Externa aos seus filhos..

    Q: So basically, what you're saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?
    A: Yes!
    AEIUHAOIHIUHAEHOUIHA
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  22. #21
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    Padrão

    Todos esses ditadores e terroristas já foram ajudados pelos EUA... Receberam dinheiro pra combater inimigos lá, mas indiretamente, pois não podiam combater diretamente para não "sujar a imagem" ou gerar uma guerra nuclear (guerra fria).
    os gregos inflaram os números na história
    tinha uns loucos que diziam ser mais de 1 milhão

    na verdade alguns historiadores concluiram que o exército persa era composto por cerca de 24.000 homens. mas os 300 arregaçaram boa parte deles, algo em torno de 3k

  23. #22

    Padrão

    Originalmente enviada por Birdão
    milagre, entendeu ingles eh??
    Pra que que serve tradutor?
    Citação Citando redhat Ver mensagem
    Vamos trocar chocolates ? eu te dou um talento e vc me da sem parar.

  24. #23

    Padrão

    Originalmente enviada por Lusty
    Bem, a indignação continua a mesma, só que com outra pergunta : como esse imbecil conseguiu tanto voto ? Não é possível que o nível de aprovação do governo desse infeliz seja grande até agora.

    Uma coisa é ser conservador. Outra coisa é votar no Bush.
    Pra mim é algo como a eleição do FHC...

    Tipo, eu lembro de todo mundo falando dele antes das eleições, mesmo naquela época já tinha muita crítica. Mas o cara é muito culto, cheio de diplomas e tudo mais, daí nós elegemos ele né? Tudo bem, foi uma das piores fazes politicas do Brasil, pelo menos ao meu ponto de vista. Daí todo mundo reclamando, altas criticas contra o governo, eu ouvi até cogitarem a possibilidade de empeachment! Mas mesmo assim nós não re-elegemos o cara?

    Foram mais quatro anos de críticas, reclamações, etc etc etc...

    Pois é... de certa forma são casos parecidos...

    Mas esse é o ponto de vista de um kra de 19 anos que aproveitou esse tempo com "jogos, festas e curtição"! (entre aspas) hehehe
    Naum curto politica, :P~
    \"Todas as virtudes apoiam-se no caráter, que é a energia que nos mantém a prumo; uma vez, porém, que consintamos em vergá-lo, dificilmente o restabeleceremos na primitiva posição e já não terá a inflexibilidade, que era a sua linha honesta, porque nele sempre se há de sentir a volta por onde se dobrou.\" (Coelho Neto)

  25. #24

    Padrão

    Boa boa...
    NOVA CAMPANHA: INFRARED, FODA-SE VC E SUA VIDA (putz...adorei essa campanha)

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  26. #25

    Padrão

    a melhor parte para mim eh qndo fala da burca e das vestimentas na arabia saudita, nivel de sarcasmo 100000000000000%
    Citação Citando rdgr. Ver mensagem
    Chupava legal um pinto, ensinei direitinho.

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